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  #31  
Old 11-01-2019, 04:11 PM
Helena Lake Helena Lake is offline
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My family's guideline was that you breastfeed until the kid bites your nipple.
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  #32  
Old 11-01-2019, 04:20 PM
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Originally Posted by GargoyleWaiting View Post
Oh, jas was being a dick?
I thought it was something juicier than that.
I don't know why you would assume that.

What sort of priors do you have?
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  #33  
Old 11-01-2019, 04:23 PM
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Originally Posted by Helena Lake View Post
My family's guideline was that you breastfeed until the kid bites your nipple.
Yeah, that's pretty much when I stopped.

They've got teeth, then they can start chewing some food.
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  #34  
Old 11-01-2019, 04:23 PM
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I guess I'll share my personal story.

I was very pro-BFing prior to giving birth. I didn't even consider formula, mostly from a cheap actuary POV, but also it's just what women are "supposed" to do. I was also very into the idea of giving birth without drugs; I'm sure you can find some posts I made back then about that.

So I gave birth naturally to a healthy boy, love of my life, beautiful loin fruit, yada yada. The birth went according to plan, no complications, the best quick labor you could ask for.

I had no issues with my supply. I was keeping up with his needs, but he was always hungry and gained about a pound a week for months. He was a hungry little hippo. After a few weeks, I was at my wit's end. I was awake constantly; I was too afraid to co-sleep, and mini-NA wasn't sleeping anyway. He always. wanted. fed.

Beyond that, I hated the feeling of nursing. I didn't feel like I was bonding with my baby the way I was "supposed" to. I was sore and sad and sleep-deprived and flabby and nothing felt good or natural about being a new mom. And I actually began experiencing intense feelings of dread and depression when he would latch on; turns out that this is a thing and not just me. I wasn't having any feelings of harm for either of us, but I was overwhelmed by negative feelings when I nursed.

So I began exclusively pumping instead. It was rough to get ahead of his needs, but at least when I was pumping I could do other things, like read or sob uncontrollably about nothing at all, since I didn't have to hold him. I was fortunate and my supply kept up with the pumping. This way, my husband could help out with the feedings. I would often pump, then hand him the bottles for him to feed the little punk (or I would feed him right after pumping). It was nice, because we both got those bonding moments without my nipples being shredded by greedy gums.

The doctors kept telling us his appetite would slow down, but it didn't. We tried all the things, and he only wanted fed milk. So we started supplementing with formula at some point. I was still able to pump around 44 ounces a day, and this allowed me to build up a surplus for when I went back to work.

At one point, I had to have my gallbladder out. I had to pump before the surgery because I couldn't pump for 24 hours after surgery, and I was a wreck having to throw out that milk in that 24 hour period (because, you know, my boobs were getting sore every couple hours from making so much freaking milk). My entire LIFE revolved around expressing milk on a schedule.

I was pumping every three hours by the time I was back at work. I was in consulting, so this was highly unproductive. I was sick and tired of it. So around 4.5 months or so, I decided I was just done. We gave him the rest of the milk I had saved up and switched over to formula.

I have never made a better decision for myself.

I never considered that my sanity, my happiness, was valuable. As a mother, you're supposed to sacrifice everything for your kids. I thought. Turns out, no one benefits from that.

I had no medical issues that prevented me from nursing. I just couldn't do it anymore. And if (God forbid) I had another biological child, I would probably nurse for a while for the minimal health benefits, but I would rely heavily on formula. And I would stop AS SOON as it consumed any fraction of my life in a negative way.
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  #35  
Old 11-01-2019, 04:28 PM
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That sounds horrible, yeah I definitely agree switching over to formula was a good move. We've got a similar situation with my newborn son having gained 2oz/day for his first few weeks of life. It's definitely a lot on my wife and he's just constantly hungry to the point where he'll throw up. The paediatrician even recommended we use a pacifer to help since he's often just eating to eat.

Like I mentioned in the other thread with passing exams with little kids. Sure, it's tougher to pass as a dad with little kids, but that's largely thanks to support from my wife/family/etc. If I was the mom I can't imagine.
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  #36  
Old 11-01-2019, 04:41 PM
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Originally Posted by NerdAlert View Post
I have a bit of a different perspective on it. I think the “it’s cheaper to breastfeed” camp largely ignores that there is a cost associated with my time. And since my son ate 44 ounces a day for the first five months (and beyond, but that was when I was too overwhelmed to continue BFing), I spent a lot of time pumping or immobilized while feeding him. Not cost effective from that standpoint.

The “convenience” thing also isn’t really the case if you are the only one doing the feedings. I wasn’t always able to maintain a surplus from pumping, so my husband wasn’t able to handle many of the feedings early on. He was great, but only so much he could do when I had the entire food supply.
I read this with the wrong "BFing" given . . . well . . . how things are down there after vaginal birth . . .
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  #37  
Old 11-01-2019, 06:00 PM
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I'll share a different personal story.

Evidently, as a baby, I just couldn't get enough. So my ma supplemented with formula. But -that- wasn't enough. No milk-only diet would satisfy me.

She was feeding me (very thin) rice cereal mixed with formula, out of a food syringe, when I was 3 weeks old. I was just sucking that stuff down like nobody's business. Yes, you're not supposed to do this, and my ma knew it, but she said I was just ravenous.

Anyway, I seem to have come through fine. My ma didn't even bother trying to breastfeed my sisters (she didn't have to do the food syringe thing for them, tho. Formula was good enough for them). One's a doctor and the other is an accountant. They seem okay.
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  #38  
Old 11-01-2019, 06:26 PM
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A few folks have pointed out what we found back when we were having kids: there are too many ardent proponents of a specific viewpoint of breastfeeding vs formula that doesn't allow room for the other view, and it just creates tremendous confusion and angst for new parents.

Our first nursed great, but it wasn't enough. Certain people tried to warn us of "nipple confusion," saying that babies would get spoiled by the bottle and never return to the breast. Maybe that's true for some people, but not for our kid. Luckily, my wife had a very positive experience with breastfeeding, even though she had to pump while in school (went back for a degree), and was able to supplement with formula with no problem.

Second baby came along and had a TERRIBLE time breastfeeding, at least initially. Heck, he even had a problem getting formula (or expressed milk) from a bottle for his first week or so. His weight dropped more than is ideal. We had to do some weird method to get him to take his milk (involved running a very thin tube from his bottle, and connecting it to a finger that he "nursed" from). If we'd listened to the extreme breastfeeding proponents, we would have been even more miserable than we already were, and who knows how low his weight would have gone before he turned the corner.

With our third child, my wife's milk supply was much more inconsistent. By then, we had zero qualms about supplementing with formula, so it wasn't a problem.

Of all the loud-mouthed proponents causing more harm than good to parents, I think the co-sleeping folks bother me the most. One such person teaching a parenting class at a hospital tried to tell us that "nobody ever really smooshes their baby in their sleep." I'm shocked the hospital had them speak. Fortunately, that same hospital brought in another speaker the following week who said, "Um, yes, some babies are suffocated by their parents rolling over on them, and it's the most tragic thing in the world to have to tell those parents that you couldn't save their baby."
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  #39  
Old 11-01-2019, 06:27 PM
Helena Lake Helena Lake is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by campbell View Post
I'll share a different personal story.

Evidently, as a baby, I just couldn't get enough. So my ma supplemented with formula. But -that- wasn't enough. No milk-only diet would satisfy me.

She was feeding me (very thin) rice cereal mixed with formula, out of a food syringe, when I was 3 weeks old. I was just sucking that stuff down like nobody's business. Yes, you're not supposed to do this, and my ma knew it, but she said I was just ravenous.

Anyway, I seem to have come through fine. My ma didn't even bother trying to breastfeed my sisters (she didn't have to do the food syringe thing for them, tho. Formula was good enough for them). One's a doctor and the other is an accountant. They seem okay.
Sounds like you all had brains that needed extra support
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  #40  
Old 11-01-2019, 06:37 PM
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Originally Posted by fdsafdsa View Post
What appears to be missing in that article is the aggressive promotion of infant formula by the companies that profit from it, and similar BS science from the earlier generation of Dr. Spock to scare mothers into thinking breastfeeding would lead their children to be criminals.

Many of the earlier studies were more focused on disproving those lies of breastfeeding being bad.
Yep. This is a huge problem. And many people fall for the marketing.
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