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  #41  
Old 12-05-2016, 04:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Arthur Itas View Post
Group of guys is out boar hunting in Australia. A big kangaroo decides to put one of their dogs in a headlock. Guy goes to free his dog, and winds up boxing the kangaroo.
http://www.foxnews.com/world/2016/12...-headlock.html
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  #42  
Old 12-05-2016, 05:43 PM
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Originally Posted by campbell View Post
ow ow ow ow ow
should make them settle it by boxing each other...barefoot...over a bed of scattered Lego pieces.
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  #43  
Old 12-05-2016, 06:01 PM
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listening to Kim Komando show last night. she said there's a sign in her doctor's office asking patients to describe their level of pain on a scale of 1 to stepping on a leggo
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  #44  
Old 12-07-2016, 10:57 AM
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http://loweringthebar.net/2016/12/po...whistling.html

note: hyperlinks not copied over...

Quote:
Police Called Because Guy Won’t Stop Whistling “Closing Time”

DECEMBER 5, 2016
From the police blotter in Forest Grove, Washington:
Nov. 26: A verbal altercation occurred after a woman allegedly told a man to “shut up” after he obnoxiously whistled the song “Closing Time” by the band Semisonic near her driveway.
Is there another way to whistle the song “Closing Time”? Actually, is there another way to whistle?

According to a spokesman, police responded to the report of the “verbal altercation”—otherwise known as an “argument”—to find that the whistler had already moved on. They tracked him down anyway, and found him still whistling the same tune. Instead of arresting him immediately (nuisance, disturbing the peace, or war crimes charges come to mind), they simply spoke to him and sent him on his way.

If you had mercifully forgotten this song, I apologize, but like the phone call in The Ring, once you hear it the only way to be free is to share the curse with someone else, so here we are.

According to Wikipedia, “Closing Time” peaked at #11 on Billboard‘s Hot 100 in the U.S. in 1998, the year that also gave us “Gettin’ Jiggy Wit’ It” and Ace of Base’s cover of “Cruel Summer.” “Closing Time” did spend five weeks at #1 on the “Modern Rock Tracks” list, which seems very wrong, and is said to have an “oddly enduring legacy” for a reason no one quite seems to understand. It has been used in a number of films and TV series, perhaps most appropriately in The Office (season six, episode eight):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4TXn_YF_uw

That seems about right.

Although happily no one was harmed as a result of this verbal altercation, it is worth remembering that musical provocation has quite frequently led to violence. See, e.g., Good Reasons to Kill #59 (“Objected to Bagpipes“); #38 (“Peaceful Easy Feeling“); #36 (“Dubstep”); #28 (“Alanis Morrisette”); #27 (“Gangnam Style”); #22 (“Disrespected Loretta Lynn”); #11 (“Sang ‘My Way’ Poorly”; noting that at least six deaths have been attributed to this in the Philippines); see also “Seattle Attack Blamed on Karaoke, Coldplay” (Aug. 12, 2007).
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  #45  
Old 12-07-2016, 12:12 PM
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If you had mercifully forgotten this song, I apologize, but like the phone call in The Ring, once you hear it the only way to be free is to share the curse with someone else, so here we are.
http://www.online-literature.com/twain/3268/
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  #46  
Old 12-07-2016, 12:50 PM
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great

now that one is lodged in my mind
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  #47  
Old 12-13-2016, 06:17 PM
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The news itself isn't funny: a public hearing relating to an ownership dispute between a Louisiana parish and a landowner. (Oh, yeah, the landowner is NBA great Karl Malone.)

But this quote just got me:
Quote:
The discussion quickly turned tense, and one police juror even stood up to address the crowd.

"Ever since last Thursday, the accusations that's been said about me having my butt up Karl Malone's rear end. That's a bold faced lie from the gates of hell," police juror Nathan Futch said.
http://www.knoe.com/content/news/Uni...397047101.html
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  #48  
Old 12-16-2016, 03:37 PM
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http://distractify.com/humor/2016/12...924f044efee13a

I'll just copy over the headline:

Quote:
Two Sex Shop Employees Fought Off A Robber By Pelting Him With Dildos

there's security cam video from the interaction at the link
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  #49  
Old 12-16-2016, 03:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by campbell View Post
http://distractify.com/humor/2016/12...924f044efee13a

I'll just copy over the headline:




there's security cam video from the interaction at the link
Isn't it dildoes? Or am I just Quayling it?
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9:45 pm: ao fan would be hot covered in mayo!
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if you'd like I can come visit and dress up like a girl and get in some fights
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i think everyone needs to do this type of thing to get a dose of reality and straighten people up. it's kinda like going to the mountains and becoming a monk except it's with hundreds of potatoes and a lot of stoners with tattoos in a kitchen
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  #50  
Old 12-16-2016, 03:43 PM
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Don't bring a gun to a rubber **** fight
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