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  #211  
Old 09-09-2019, 09:33 AM
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Vorian Atreides Vorian Atreides is offline
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. . . it was cool to step right in and be dad and husband immediately instead of 2 days later after sleeping off a hangover.
And I think it is these sorts of things that kids will process the most in this context . . . not that you were gone so much as what sort of person you were when you get back.
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  #212  
Old 09-09-2019, 02:27 PM
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Fourth thing I noticed was that I didn't show up back home for my wife and kids looking and feeling like a big bag of bricks. When I got home I was not tired and I was able to contribute around the house just like I normally do which is awesome because my wife and kids pulled all the weight while I was gone and it was cool to step right in and be dad and husband immediately instead of 2 days later after sleeping off a hangover.
FWIW, not drinking - you'll still feel like a big bag of bricks if you fly out at unreasonable hours in the morning....
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  #213  
Old 10-24-2019, 10:53 AM
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Almost feel like I never was a drinker now. My wife keeps telling me how good I look and how great my complexion is. I feel better than I ever have in mind, body, and spirit.
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  #214  
Old 10-25-2019, 09:49 AM
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Almost feel like I never was a drinker now. My wife keeps telling me how good I look and how great my complexion is. I feel better than I ever have in mind, body, and spirit.
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  #215  
Old 10-26-2019, 08:43 AM
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Almost feel like I never was a drinker now. My wife keeps telling me how good I look and how great my complexion is. I feel better than I ever have in mind, body, and spirit.
<-- iced tea
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  #216  
Old 10-28-2019, 09:42 AM
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So another thing I am noticing is how numb I guess drinking made me. Maybe this is the reason people do it. I have so many emotions now and I am becoming empathetic which I have never been. I guess as a 20 something with a ton of anxiety about whether I was going to succeed in life, hold together a marriage, be a decent father, etc numbness was a feature. As a 39 year old who is doing fine, in a wonderful marriage, with 2 great kids it was definitely a bug. I have been moved to tears with joy several times over the last 4 or 5 months over how proud I am of my 2 children, how great my wife really is, how amazing my parents are, how many wonderful people I have had the good fortune to become friends with, and even once over how beautiful nature can be. Only once have I cried over sadness, but it was the grief of losing our family dog 5 years of age. I would call it an awakening for myself, but the empathy has also helped me understand why so many go through their life with this numbness in place, it surely makes climbing the corporate ladder easier, forgetting a $hitty childhood, dealing with loneliness, etc, and a lot of times being drunk is fun. I am judgment free on the use of alcohol, but anyone who feels like they may have a complicated relationship with it would be well served to consider a time out period IMO. 3-6 months would be a sweet spot for self discovery I think.
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  #217  
Old 10-28-2019, 11:22 AM
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Sorry if you've said this before, but how much were you drinking? I ask because I drink a little, and it's never made me numb. Well, maybe for an hour or two, (although I don't think even that) and certainly never in a way that mattered the next day or anything.
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  #218  
Old 10-28-2019, 03:24 PM
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Sorry if you've said this before, but how much were you drinking? I ask because I drink a little, and it's never made me numb. Well, maybe for an hour or two, (although I don't think even that) and certainly never in a way that mattered the next day or anything.
Maybe 2 or 3 drinks 4-5 nights a week. 5 or 6 from time to time. Not as much as some, but much more than others. I mean at work I don't have time to think about that stuff so at home I was either busy with something else or drinking and being distracted. It didn't take much to fill all my free time up with distraction. That represents maybe 3 hours or so a night 3-4 weeknights so 9-12 hours of time and then let's say another 5-10 on the weekend. That's 10-20 hours in a state of inebriation where I am just not thinking about anything. Now all of that time is used for something else and a lot of it is reflection.
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  #219  
Old 10-28-2019, 04:42 PM
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baring other issues, sober living will open you up emotionally compared to living a life with too high intoxication %

(don't confuse irrational emotional outbursts of the intoxicated with the emotional high and low richness of the sober experience)

dg, i don't doubt what you are saying, but i will say that it does take some time to come back to a "normal" emotional baseline. you're probably there by now since you're not coming back from a point of significant damage (my read based on your prior postings)
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  #220  
Old 10-28-2019, 05:16 PM
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baring other issues, sober living will open you up emotionally compared to living a life with too high intoxication %

(don't confuse irrational emotional outbursts of the intoxicated with the emotional high and low richness of the sober experience)

dg, i don't doubt what you are saying, but i will say that it does take some time to come back to a "normal" emotional baseline. you're probably there by now since you're not coming back from a point of significant damage (my read based on your prior postings)
The amount of drinking that DG describes sounds like friends I've known who kind of "sipped along" enough to "take the edge off life." So he could have done that without ever getting to the point of emotional outbursts, if I'm thinking about this correctly. I can see where that approach, especially if combined with a certain level of depression (not sure if that was the case here?), might lead to a sort of general "numbness."
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