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  #11  
Old 11-16-2018, 03:50 PM
jominican jominican is offline
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Originally Posted by Maximally Qualified View Post
Most of these seem like minor inconveniences in the grand scheme of things, if she gets you the job you want. However, if she helps you land an offer but won't fight for the salary you want, that would seem to dwarf anything you like or don't like about her. I could be misunderstanding the salary negotiations, never really been through them.
This really helps. One red flag I'm getting is she doesn't think I deserve the salary I expect, even though I think I referenced reasonable numbers. She does seem like she wants to help me get a job, even though I told her I'm not gonna take any job less than the salary I want so I don't want to waste anyone's time.
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  #12  
Old 11-16-2018, 03:53 PM
hjacjswo hjacjswo is offline
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Originally Posted by jominican View Post
This really helps. One red flag I'm getting is she doesn't think I deserve the salary I expect, even though I think I referenced reasonable numbers. She does seem like she wants to help me get a job, even though I told her I'm not gonna take any job less than the salary I want so I don't want to waste anyone's time.
I think that's somewhat common. It does become a problem, tho, when you get an offer and need to negotiate. She probably won't push for the desired salary very aggressively.
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  #13  
Old 11-16-2018, 04:15 PM
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Kenny Kenny is offline
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As for the girlfriend’s occupation and plans for marriage, this can play a role if relocation is a factor. If she’s a teacher, she can do that anywhere, but if she’s in finance, the recruiter is probably wasting her time asking you about roles in the middle of nowhere. Asking about marriage plans is probably just an awkward way of asking how serious the relationship is. If you found your dream job 500 miles from where you live now, would your girlfriend go with you? A wife or fiancee probably would, but a girlfriend that you’ve only been dating for a few months might prefer to break it off.

It might be awkward for you, but having a candid conversation here is a great way for her to really understand your preferences so that she presents only the most relevant opportunities. You don’t want your recruiter to waste time gathering information on a role in Topeka, Kansas if you’ve got a serious girlfriend that refuses to leave NYC. If you’re open to relocation and the relationship isn’t as serious though, maybe the Topeka role is a great fit for you. Taking a new job is a major life step, especially if you’re relocating to a new city. Volunteering some personal information here is probably helpful if it allows her to give you more tailored information. What’s the worst thing that happens by giving her that info?
If the recruiter wants the answer to these questions, they should ask the direct questions. If they don't think they will get a straight answer by asking me the questions directly then they don't trust me and think they know what I am and am not willing to do better than me. That generally isn't the type of personality I want to work with.
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  #14  
Old 11-16-2018, 04:37 PM
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Abelian Grape Abelian Grape is offline
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She has a very bad reputation with a lot of people. I know for a fact my employer will never ever work with her.
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  #15  
Old 11-16-2018, 04:45 PM
jominican jominican is offline
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She has a very bad reputation with a lot of people. I know for a fact my employer will never ever work with her.
May I ask why the bad reputation? It seems like some of my original concerns are normal among recruiter.
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  #16  
Old 11-16-2018, 04:50 PM
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She has a very bad reputation with a lot of people. I know for a fact my employer will never ever work with her.
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  #17  
Old 11-16-2018, 04:53 PM
Dr T Non-Fan Dr T Non-Fan is offline
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1. Any of that personal information you give to her can and might be used against you.

2. I'll remind you of what her job is, in case it wasn't clear: To get you a job elsewhere so she gets paid the commission. Note that there is nothing in that job description about your happiness or future career opportunities.

"Sometimes when I try to understand a person's motives, I play a little game: I assume the worst."
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  #18  
Old 11-16-2018, 05:16 PM
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I am willing to wager several people on this forum can guess who you are talking about.

And I use the term guess very loosely.
This.

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Originally Posted by Abelian Grape View Post
She has a very bad reputation with a lot of people. I know for a fact my employer will never ever work with her.
Also this. I know recruiters in insurance-related fields that will never ever work with her.
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  #19  
Old 11-16-2018, 05:18 PM
nonlnear nonlnear is offline
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Nonlnear's situation-simplifying life advice:

If you ever feel uncomfortable about someone who is representing you in any no trivial capacity just drop them. There are good people out there. And if you are having trouble finding good people, then you should probably take the opportunity to get a little more practice at finding good people. It's probably the most valuable skill ever.
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  #20  
Old 11-16-2018, 05:18 PM
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I'm kind of sad she didn't try to talk to me during the annual meeting. I like attention.
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